Who don't want a relationship like this?
I have a few questions for you guys..
Have you guys ever wanted your crush to be yours for so long that you're very tired waiting? Have you guys ever having a hard time trying to forget and move on? Have you ever felt like a failure in love life because you were either too fat or too ugly? Are you tired seeing someone so close to your crush that you're jealous? <but why am i jealous? his not mine> And falling in love beyond control?
But knowing that you actually stand a chance <false hope> you won't give up? Well.. I did. My life was simple at first all I think is just play then study. Before I fall in love.. I don't know what it means to be in love.
When I was in secondary one (2012) i have to attend extra lessons because I was advanced to sec 2. That I started chatting with my senior on Facebook. I just treat him as a normal chat buddy. His the first chat buddy I've ever had and the best. I didn't even thought that I would fall cause I thought my heart was strong. So this is how my life lesson started.
As people tell me that life there would be passer by and people who stab over you and leave. People walk into your life making you having a hard time and left you hanging there like nobody's business.
Well it all happened once you were in secondary school. Having crush on someone that you would never be with.. Is just like waiting for Singapore to snow which is almost impossible. After chatting for weeks we started on the phone chatting. We replied each other till no time for sleep and twitter.. You can see how much we like to chat with one another.
Until then I found out that I fall for him when I was in genting with my friends. My friends didn't know that I fall for him they thought we were just chat buddy. They started teasing me and keep repeating again and again even if they didn't know the truth. So.. I tried to avoid him in genting when I got my Wifi in Starbucks I last seen him in Whats app.. But soon I realise that I miss him.. He scolded me for not replying because he was waiting for my reply the whole day while I was having fun in genting. And imagining that we are couple during my trip I know I fall for him. I didn't know how he felt.
I guess god was playing with my feelings maybe for a lesson?
Few weeks later I started to finding him annoying.. Everything he send to me started to annoy me. I didn't know why.. My cousins told me it was puppy love. So we broke contact.. Few weeks later we started to chat again. And broke contact and chat this time I realise that he have changed.. The way he talks.. The way he chat and everything.. He was so different.. He have changed from someone I used to know till a stranger. As I thought I won't like him again I told him that I fall for him once.. He didn't tell me how he feel. So we continue to chat and feelings come back slowly.. They appeared in my life once again. But as I said he changed.. He started giving me cold replies..
And soon he had a new girlfriend. I didn't know what to do. My friends asked me to give up. So I try to give up by not chatting with him. I bear.. He told me that he broke up.. And my feelings wasn't gone. And he requested for on the phone chatting. So I thought it was okay. Then.. Months later he had a girlfriend again.. By then I crush on him for 7 months already I didn't count the one in puppy love. It was a hard time giving up on him. I am directionless right now and don't know what to do.. I have no sense of direction. I really don't know what to do is to move on? Or to continue liking him.. But would I stand a chance? My friend told me that once its after 4 months of crushing.. Its not crush its love. My friends knew I've been through a hard time.. But giving up wasn't easy.. This was my first love.
I don't know what he did to me that made me so attached to him that I still love him no matter what he did to me
Thank you for reading my post even though the English wasn't well done but its my thoughts and my life story it wasn't really specific but it still summaries my story
